Good questions, Spartanmama. We're in the throes of that right now, as my first nephew graduated in May (now at Indiana University), my first neice graduates in 2010 and then my two graduate in 2011 and 2012.

In-state vs. out-of-state; public vs. private. All tough questions. I think we'll land somewhere along the line of "we'll pay the equivalent of an in-state public school." If they want to go out of state or private, the kids would have to assume a greater share of the burden.

As for areas of study, my daughter wants to do nursing or physical therapy, both good-paying and in-demand fields. My son wants to study musical theater, a tough road with little or no job security. But that is his passion -- and if that's what he wants, I'll find every way to support him in that. I'm also encouraging a "fall-back" plan if Broadway doesn't work out. He's smart enough to have other options, too.

Mom of 16 years, LSJ managing editor

when i was young---a million years ago, college for women was not really the norm.  it wasn't really rare but by far more women didn't go than did.  but i went off to the university and got a bachelor's degree.  my parents didn't really care---my mom would rather i got an education while living at home; my dad thought college was a great place to meet a husband---which i actually did.  we both went on to get masters degrees and jobs.

we expected our kids to go to college---it was the way we lived our life and raised them.  BUT, with child #1 (son), alas---it didn't come to pass.  we dragged him through high school and then through a certification program.  he works full time and has since high school.  before that, he worked part-time since he was in middle school.  3 daughters all have been university bound right out of high school but we would not have forced them beyond community college if they were not interested---at the cost, there really is no sense in it.  if they don't want to succeed, they won't.  we think the only thing worse than not going to Michigan (we're alumni) is dropping/flunking out of Michigan.  we'd prefer they went someplace where they would be happy.

my husband did press them to careers that will give them out-of-college employment---and he got his way.  2 are engineers and seem to love it.  the third chose a field that would have given her a job when she started---but not so much now, at least nowhere in this state.  and i think she'll hate it as a career.  it's breaking my heart to think she's limiting herself---i hate the thought that she won't be all she can be and won't embrace all of the life she wants, but i couldn't convince her to disregard the pressure from her dad.

as for requirements---we said we'd pay for all of them, including helping w/ housing---at in-state tuition rates ONLY.  we have great universities in our state, specializing in alot of different fields and of varied sizes to meet different kids needs.  we're not going to agree that any college at out-of-state rates was worth it, or even private college rates.  if they wanted to go, fine---but we weren't paying the $45K+ each year for stuff they couldn't actually get in state universities, so they knew up front they needed full ride scholarships.